• Certified Classic • Must See • One Time Watch • Not Recommended •
• Waste of Time • Cinematic Turd •
Just another twenty-something film graduate who resorted to writing a blog! I love films and I use my blog (Benend's Basement) to air my many opinions on the new release, and older, films that I see.
Starring: Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan, Adam Scott, Rebel Wilson
Certificate: 18
Run-time: under 90 minutes
IN SHORT: An ill-conceived, offensive 'comedy' about three high-school bitches who never grew up. It's NOT Bridesmaids, more a failed female version of The Hangover with an alarming fixation on drugs and seemingly no moral compass.
2/10 CINEMATIC TURD
>>> SPOILERS SPOILERS <<<
At the moment, all I seem to do is *censored* and whine about films. Maybe I'm just watching the wrong ones? Or perhaps the studio's have lowered their quality control? Whatever it is, I'm back again with another damning review of a film that really doesn't have any redeeming qualities. It's hugely offensive, to the point where it actually affects your enjoyment of it, the storyline is muddled and the comedy is non-existent. The film is Bachelorette.
Bachelorette is an ensemble piece following Gena (Caplan), Regan (Dunst) and Katie (Fisher) as they meet up for Becky's (Wilson, or Kristen Wiig's 'English' flatmate in Bridsmaids) wedding. The girls have all known each other since high-school, although due to differing circumstances, they're not as close as they used to be. I believe the group referred to themselves as 'the 4 B's' or something to that affect. Anyway, it seems there are only 3 'B's in this film, as Gena, Regan and Katie are some of the bitchiest, most childish women I have ever seen in a film. Kirsten Dunst's character is uptight, incredibly rude and has a foul air about her. Lizzy Caplan is a drugged-up, unemployed skanky mess and Isla Fisher is a suicidal little girl who craves attention from everyone and anyone. They are unbelievably dislikeable characters and I consider it a plothole that anyone as nice as Becky would be friends with these people!
The film suggests that these girls are all friends but behind Becky's back, the rest of the girls joke about her weight, mock her wedding and generally don't give a *censored* about her. They all seem to have their own selfish reasons for being at the wedding. So anyway, shit hits the fan when all of the girls have an argument the night before the big day. At this stage I was thinking, 'yes, you go Becky, kick these girls out and be done with them!' Instead, Becky locks herself in her room, leaving the rest of the girls feeling sorry for themselves.They decide to get drunk, do some cocaine and go out on the pull. Not before they have the brilliant idea of trying on Becky's wedding dress, which they rip... And that's the plot - the girls have between 1am and 9am to fix this ripped and stained wedding dress before the wedding in the morning.
The 3 B'S in action.
From here-on-in, the film turns into a Hangover-style comedy, as the girls traipse this battered wedding dress through strip clubs and other dirty New York joints. And this is one of the things that really annoyed me. These women were so wrapped up in their own little problems, they were willing to screw up their best friend's big day. They are so used to the spotlight being upon them, they really couldn't handle their more unconventionally-attractive friend hogging the limelight. Of course, the writer fully intended for these women to be bitches but the plot never makes us identify, or sympathise, with them.
Lizzy Caplan has a generic back-story that reveals she had an abortion during high school. As for the other girls - Kirsten Dunst is just a *censored* because that's who she is and Isla Fisher hates her life because she can't get out of her retail job. Bachelorette is based upon a play, which is painfully obvious as there isn't enough plot or character development and the film limply ends after 80 or so minutes. Oh and if you want to see these bitches get some form of comeuppance, you'll also be sorely disappointed as everything works out fine and everyone goes back to their self-absorbed, middle-class lives. How quintessentially Hollywoodian.
Lastly, I need to mention how puerile the comedy is. The comedic writing is unimaginative and amateur. At the end of the film, a male character stands up before a room full of wedding guests and declares his love for Lizzy Caplan, by graphically describing their night of sex together. The gag goes on and on, with seemingly no punchline. The cast are all talented comediennes and Caplan especially, thrived in this style of film with Mean Girls, so the fact that this is a comedy disaster falls squarely upon the writer.
Please mark my words and avoid this film. No doubt the marketing team will try and lure you in with the vague resemblance to Bridesmaids but this doesn't have anywhere near the amount of heart, charm or comedic talent. It's a massive waste of a great cast and watching it put me in a bad mood!!
"My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre," Ford muttered to himself, "and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes."
For several years now I have been driving a "Flex Fuel" vehicle - which means it can run on different blends of gasoline and ethanol. In my area I have a choice to use either Regular Unleaded or E-85 (85% ethanol fuel and 15% gasoline by volume.) The E-85 is typically priced substantially lower than Regular gas but there is a trade-off in that E-85 does not deliver the same mileage as Regular.
When fuel prices climb higher, the lower price of E-85 looks all the more attractive. However, it is hard to decide at the pump whether the lower cost is worth it, vis-à-vis the reduced fuel economy. In order to make an intelligent decision as to which would be more cost effective, I dusted off my limited javascript skills to devise this gizmo that painlessly compares the two options in terms of cost per mile.
Of course, it is up to you to discover your relative miles-per-gallon for each type of fuel. Once you are armed with that information you can enter those into the form below (my values are automatically inserted but you can change them to your own), along with the price of one or the other type fuel. Click the "EQUATE" button to learn the break-even price for the other.